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Moon Walker
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Pain Unspeakable.

Moon Walker
I am still, two days later, thanking God that Merick is alive. He was mauled by the dog of a family friend on his face and neck. He has seven very shocking lacerations and ended up with 22 stitches. As scary as it was, and as ugly as his injuries are, it could have been so much worse. The dog, a German Shepherd Akita mix, could have killed him. If the bites had been just a smidgen in another direction, if the owner and my husband wouldn't have been within arm's reach ... Oh, God. I can't even consider the possibilities. Coming this close to losing Merick just makes us value every second we have with him all the more now ... Life is so fragile and precious. It can be taken away in an instant. That fact is ever so clear to me now. Every moment is a gift ... and we won't soon forget it.

The dog was put down within hours of the attack. There is absolutely no satisfaction in that fact for any of us.

We won't know about the severity of the scars until later but, considering his injuries, it's very likely that they'll be sticking around. Of course, we will do everything in our power and use every medical option available to help to minimize them in the future. As you can imagine, we are very upset about it. I tear up every time I think about it. My heart is broken. My beautiful, perfect baby boy has been scarred in ways that go far beyond his physical appearance. When I look at him, I do so with a brave face. I smile, I kiss him, I tell him he'll be fine. I refuse to let him see my fear or my tears.

Last night, I couldn't sleep. Alone in the dark with an indescribable ache in my chest, I suppressed my cries and tried to breathe through the pain. So many thoughts and anxieties washed over me. Things I've never considered before, fears I've not entertained in nine years of motherhood, blame I cannot help but place upon myself and his father. How could we have let this happen to him? How could we have gotten him this far only to fail him now? I feel like God entrusted this flawless child to me and now I've let the evil of this world, literally, eat him alive. Some decision, somewhere, could have been made differently and all of this could have been avoided. Why didn't we take the right path? God help me, I am so sorrowful. More than anything, I want Jesus to lay His healing hand upon my boy and make this all alright. Please God, hear my prayer ....



Moon Walker
I'm loving this song.


I'm Not Who I Was






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December 2012


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